Saturday Night Oldies with Big Cid- the Keep Stig Quiet Mini Play

About a month ago (maybe longer) I get an email from Mata. Talks between us havew decreased over time. That is to be expected as our lives have far different challenges. But the emails reads “Hey Cid, you have not done a Saturday Night Oldies show fora LONG time. I had to look it up. It ‘s been a l”ong, long, while” to quote The Rolling Stones you love so much. What gives with that. I used to love those broadcasts, Still do. I get into them. I just put on on repeat- ya know-make a playlist and let it wash over me.Music is great when life is hard. I miss Bob and Kimberly. Bob always had a way of cracking me up Say what’s with them? You never speak of them. hey anyway. why not fo a short mini set of some early or forgotten 70’s jams. Remember that one you did that had the James Gang in? One like that. I hope you are well and that your son did not get COVID. Does he still come to your house since he lives with his Mother mostly? I’m beat..tired, Gotta get some sleep. Think about it. “

He says a bit more and ends the talk. Bob and Kimberly are fine both both of Bob’s children a son and a daughter had tested positive for COVID- both recovered, Kimberly is trying to have a spring wedding but planning is very difficult. You need to understand stigger that with the pandemic it is hard to get everyone (all 7 of us) in the studio to do a show that we do not need TO do.

And while you will say this is “not hard enough” or your liking it is some lost gems and forgotten classics that I could come up with. ( After all I’m not posting Dokken!) However, as i have to do this on my own with no support this is just a mini set. A mini play oi call it which is more than I’ve seen you do lately. And no–it’s not headbanging–but I’m sure Mr. @satoed2 will enjoy this if not you .

We start with Graham Nash who I always thought was better solo that as part of CSN or CSNY. This was a song of revolution at the time,

Changing thins up a bit this a Balck Sabbath soing I loved back in the day, ( One of Bob’s fave as well as he has all Sabbath EVER did. I was more in Zeppelin and Yes than Oz but at least he could still speak at this point in time. This was hugely popular on FM radio back in the day.

This has a bit if that funky grunge that is gone form music now. It was a song I consider posting had I done a “1971 retrospective (Part Three)”

We begin the second half of this with a band that achieved fame in the second half of the 1970’s. Firefall And “Strange Ways”

It hard to pinpoint what exactly was the best era of Bob Seger’s Career. Was it in the 1960’s with The Bob Seger ASystem or was it when he was solo. Was in in the mid 70’s with the Silver Bullet Band or the 80 when his music had a more profound and last sentiments. I think it was in mid 70’s when the all members of The Silver Bullet band were alive. Speaking of alive here they are live.

I’m ending this here with one of the most forgotten songs of the 1970’s but also on of the most loved. For years when the band was out of print this song was hard to find and impossible to but-even digitally. I’m glad legal issues were settled.

As a translesbian I can say I WISH I had a “distant fire” in my life as the smoke I could tolerate. This ends this for tonight and I hope it pacified the savage beast (Mata) After this the outro is THE BEST ROCK BALLAD of the 70’s

Cid out.

The strict lockdown of Silent Hill

Everyone follows the orders there. They all stay at home. Those three people anyway: Lisa, Kaufman and Dahlia. Cybil is a police officer, she can go anywhere she needs. Harry… ehhh, he doesn’t count, he is searching for his daughter.

What you see is a screenshot I took from a very nice program called “Silent Hill Level viewer“, made by user “Giromancy”, where you can navigate everywhere you like in the map, including the interior of School, Hospital, and other buildings, zoom in and see every little detail you want without the fog effect.

State of Gamer

As a young gamer I always looked forth to the next iteration of a console by a company, When the NES gave way to the SNES I was excited. I played The Super Mario World demo so many hours in store when I did get the console I had the early stages memorized. When companies; franchises announced new games I was one to be exited for them. A new “Leisure Suit Larry”? Can it get any more sexist and ridiculous? Sir Tech has a new Wizardry title in the works? I was anticipating it. Infocom has a new text adventure? I need to save for this.

We as gamers ( or computer enthusiasts) spoke in one language and in one tongue. It was not Ascii. We forwarded the industry because it championed us, the solo gamer. Long before a WWW we made clear what we wanted and what we liked. To see a console maker take their product to the next level was welcome. For a while. Then it ended. When the N64 went backwards and not forward that was the earliest sign that the State of Gamer had changed.

State of Gamer refers to the collective mindset that the gaming community has as far as gaming, the business of gaming and the content we have top choose form. State of Gamer was always unified but varied in likes. One may prefer a Sega CD over a SNES. Same for Game Boy and Game Gear. Sony will talk about State of Play and that is fine for them but the State of Gamer has dried up and deteriorated.

How many can truly say that the PS4 was a better system than the PS3? Or that the 360 was less loved that MS’s next incarnation? Is not making a 2DS actually going backwards from a 3DS? What of Scarlet and the PS5. Sony still does not allow full backward compatibility. They did not listen but rather offered excuses and empty patents. And I still can’t play a DVD in a Nintendo system or get a trophies.

The State of Gamer for me is no more. It is a memory much like reflecting back on how how inventive EA was in the early 80s, how Scott Adams Adventure International was better in text that video. In short, the internet ruined gaming and ended the state of gamer.

I no longer look forward to new systems. I just son’t care as intentional greed has taken over every aspect of gaming. From the prices of the game and console to the clever ways companies get us to buy into micro transactions.

I also no longer follow games and the tittles that are expected to come out or the date. EA released sub par games last console as did Capcom more often than not. Bethesda did next to nothing with the last gen and remains in turmoil even now. Activision/Blizzard–what is that? Two once respected companies that few care about anymore. So mired are they in screwing over the state of play and state of Gamer.

The only way to bring back that feeling, the united community that we once had is to regress and do a restart and admit that the console makers and gaming companies have duped the customer for over a decade and try to find the state of gamer.

Wherever it wondered off to.


Bravely Default 2: Perfect Pacing…So Far

 When everything was shut down last year the e-Shop presented us with a demo that I didn’t even know I needed. The BD2 demo was the perfect distraction I needed last year. I threw more than 7 hours into that demo. It isn’t even the kind of game I typically play, but something about the game grabbed me. Now I’m five hours into the real deal and…I made it to the title screen?

Bravely Default 2 starts off as anyone might expect. It slowly introduces your cast of characters and it gives you just enough of the storyline to get you invested. From what I remembered from the demo, there is no shortage of grinding. The demo throws you into difficult fights that you clearly aren’t quite ready for and thus the grind begins. I anticipated that same kind of start for the main game, but the game throws you a lifeline to get you going. While the main characters clearly need some work leveling up their skills, an old swordsman joins your crew. He is not a controllable character, but he absolutely carries your team through the prologue. While I definitely went through a few more fights than necessary to get through the game’s introduction, I worry that having that helping hand will make me lazy.

Now as I already said, I put a lot of time into the demo. I beat everything in the demo up until the final, optional, boss. It was a high level sandworm and it absolutely wrecked me. I never went back to finish it off and I fear that as much as I like this game I may hit a point where I’m uninterested in pressing on. Or worse, I may hit a point where the game feels too much like a chore and pressing on becomes boring. Everything about the game up to the title screen felt well balanced and it all unfolds at a perfect pace, but will it stay that way?

While the demo only had one unfinished challenge remaining before I quit, I did at least finish all of the storyline elements it had to offer. As long as the main campaign progresses as well as the prologue has thus far I think I will be able to get through it. I still really worry about hitting too many speed bumps though. Time will tell! To be continued?

Gaming News Has Changed

When it comes to game announcements we have seen something of a shift in recent years. Nintendo is keen on their Nintendo Directs and PlayStation has adopted this style with their State of Plays. I don’t even know what Xbox does anymore to be completely honest. E3 used to be this big coming together for the game industry and now it simply feels like we just get announcements whenever the hell someone feels like it. Side note, WHY DID EVERYONE DROP THE BALL ON THE NEW POKEMON ANNOUNCEMENTS?

Sony’s State of Play this week had me really excited. I anticipated something that simply wasn’t and I guess that’s my own fault, but still…I guess I don’t see the need to have a 30 minute montage of a bunch of games that the public is already aware of. We had ONE new game announcement. To be fair, Sifu looked kinda cool. Me and a coworker discussed how it really reminded us of the awesome fight scene from season one of Netflix’s Daredevil (you know the one I’m talking about). But other than that, nothing felt really new. We had some cool new things to talk about for games like Returnal, Deathloop, Oddworld, and you know I’m gonna mention Crash, but all in all it was somewhat lackluster to me. Yes, I am aware I did not bring up FF VII’s new content, and I do believe they wrapped up the show with their best offering, but I’m not a big FF guy. Though we are getting the game free next month so who knows, maybe they can pull me in.

(Seriously! Who knew about this???)

Now getting back to announcements in general, who out there knew anything about the Pokemon Presents that happened this morning? Where was my date and time announcement? Do I have to subscribe to their YouTube channel just to be in the know? The bigger gaming sites typically tell me about Nintendo Directs and Sony State of Plays! Is Pokemon less important?

Seriously though, how is anyone expected to keep track of things anymore? I have to like and subscribe to hundreds of different interests just to make sure I don’t miss anything and even then things can slip through the cracks. That recent Nintendo Direct could have had Pokemon included and it would have been an amazing showing, but no, everyone has to do their own videos at their own times with their own agendas…am I getting to old?

Long story short, I miss the big moments of the year when you knew gaming news was going to go down. E3, Gamescom, Tokyo Game Show, etc… These shows just aren’t what they used to be and I know that the pandemic hasn’t exactly helped to improve this situation and that is completely understandable, but I also feel like no matter when things go back to “normal” with the world these shows are simply past their prime and before we know it they will simply be relics of gaming’s past. Also, Summer Game Fest is a poor substitute and not even close to as awesome Geoff. I love the VGA’s, but Summer Game Fest needs a lot of work if you want it to be an annual thing.

This turned in to a bit of a rant, but I’m interested to know anyone else’s thoughts!

Skyforge on Switch: First Impressions

 Let me preface this post by saying my MMORPG experience is fairly minimal. It’s not like I’ve never played them, but I would never say I am an expert on them or that I have a vast knowledge of the “typical” tropes of the genre so don’t expect a lot of comparisons or anything like that. And to answer the next inevitable question that you may have, “Why did you decide to play Skyforge?” well there are two reasons. The first being that the game seemed intriguing and after looking up some articles for it on Switch I had to see if it really is as bad as everyone says. The second reason is far more obvious, the game is FREE.

I downloaded the game a few days ago, but before I could start the game tonight I had an update to download. This gave me hope that they had already fixed a number of bugs and things may go significantly better for me. I booted up the game and the first sign of trouble should have been the significant load time. Connecting to the server took awhile and just loading into the initial intro area had me wondering if my game had frozen. The prologue has you begin as a simple sword user with a basic slash attack. Once you kill a few enemies the game gives you an AOE that does some considerable damage. Of course all of this ends up being meaningless because once you reach the other side of town ***spoiler alert*** you die. This death sets up the foundation for your character. You are thrown upon a pile of corpses in an enemy…base? stronghold? dungeon?…I’m not really sure where you are, but you miraculously come back to life and fight your way out of the situation just as reinforcements arrive and deliver you to the gods. The gods teach you that you are an Immortal and you are recruited to protect your world and blah blah blah…

Anyways, now that we have the premise established we can discuss how the game runs. Let’s talk about the sound. It’s bad. This would probably be a good point to establish that I was playing the game in handheld mode on the Switch, but that is no excuse for how often the sound just cut out or hiccupped during my brief play session. NPC’s don’t fair much better either. While I can appreciate that they have fully voiced audio, it also cuts out frequently and they simply stop talking half-way through their sentences. Felt like that last scene of the Sopranos only it kept happening with multiple characters. It’s a real shame too because I actually appreciate the sound when it is working appropriately. The sound effects for spells and skills are well done and the music is fine for what it is. I even enjoy the cheesy dialogue when…you know… it works. Overall though the sound is just far too broken to really enjoy as intended.

Graphically the game is also a mess. It looks like it’s somewhere between a PS2 game and a PS3 game. Jagged edges abound! I’m not one to really care much for a game’s graphical fidelity, but it shouldn’t be so distracting that it takes you out of the experience. Skyforge manages to do that more often than not.

Now gameplay, for me at least, is the most important part of any game. Once you are brought to the gods you get your first taste of exactly how Skyforge is going to play. Now I am running the free version of the game which allows you to choose from three classes: Paladin, Lightbinder, and Cryomancer. Seeing how the game had me start with a sword I wanted to try something different and went with Cryomancer. This is a DPS class that focuses on ranged attacks and heavy mana consumption and I actually rather enjoyed my time with it. The tutorial gives you a good rundown of how to use your character and you even get a taste of some of the cooler abilities you will unlock later. Combat was not without its problems though. Locking on to an enemy is simple enough, but I could not figure out how to cycle through enemies. Not a big deal since you can just cancel the lock on and choose the next enemy you look at. The problem with combat really comes down to hit detection and enemy health bars. You may hit an enemy 2 or 3 times before you actually see their health bar change. Now the beginning of the game isn’t exactly challenging, but I can’t help but fear how much this will impact more difficult fights as I progress. Hit detection is another issue. It’s almost like what you see actually happening on screen is not what the game sees. There were a number of times where it looked like enemies would clearly hit my character but nothing happened to my health bar and then the enemy would suddenly be further from me than before. It was infuriating because I would wind up using my shield when I didn’t need to. If I am unable to have up to date visual cues the game simply cannot be played in a meaningful way.

Now this is a free game, so I am fairly forgiving when it comes to everything I have said up to this point…but the final straw had to be the crashes. After my game loaded me back to the hub area from the tutorial area I lost connection to the server and was sent back to the main menu. Okay, this is fine. Load back in and decide to knock out my first real mission. That actually went about as well as could be expected. Load back into the hub world, talk to some gods, and then the game has an unreadable dialogue box on the right side that is telling me to press a button to do something. I don’t know if it’s because I was playing in handheld mode, but I could not make out what button it was asking me to press so I began to guess. After successfully figuring out how to emote I pressed another random directional button and the game must have decided it was done with me and it completely crashed. I was not just disconnected from the server and sent to the main menu, I was ejected from the game and sent back to the Switch home screen. Two crashes in all of 40 minutes of gameplay? Yeah I’m good.

So just from the prologue, tutorial, and completing the first mission I was able to see just how much work this game needs to really be playable on the Switch. It’s a real shame since I actually kind of enjoyed myself. I really wanted to try and do a mission utilizing the multiplayer as well, but I fear the game just wouldn’t even know how to handle itself if I added anymore stress to it. I may go back for more just to see if I can power through and get some cool new abilities or something, but I may just have to wait until the game is significantly optimized to run better on Switch.

Nintendo Direct 2/17/2021

As I have gotten older I find that my love of gaming has become more hyped by gaming news and less so by actually playing…Now by no means am I trying to say that I don’t get hyped by games, but sometimes the hype wears off by the time the game makes it to my system. Today’s Nintendo Direct had some really hype moments for me, even with the unfortunately absent Breath of the Wild 2 information. I may also be feeling a bit more Nintendo hype than normal because I finally upgraded to a 512GB micro sd this week.

Now I’m not going to go through the whole show, just the moments that had me hyped. One of those hype moments for me just so happened to be 1943! The entire Capcom Arcade Stadium announcement was really cool and I would like to play a few of the games it showed off, but you’re telling me that you are going to give me the one game in the collection I wanted the MOST for FREE?!? Thanks Nintendo! Back when the local mall had an arcade, Twin Cobra was my absolute jam and 1943 is in that same style and I just instantly got flashbacks from the 90’s when I saw the game pop up.

As I already mentioned, no BotW 2 news, but they are giving us Skyward Sword HD. I only ever got to play Twilight Princess on Wii and I had drifted away from the system by the time Skyward Sword came out so the chance to try it with updated controls sounds just fine to me. In all honesty though, those Joy-Cons are absolutely AWESOME looking! Probably more excited for those than the game haha.

Now what was it about this ND had me the MOST excited all two of you who might read this ask? MARIO GOLF! I love Mario, I love golf, and the combination of the two is just perfect for me. I know there are a lot of golf haters out there, but if ever there was a golf game that could make those haters the least bit interested it is definitely Mario Golf! I missed out on both of the consoles that previously had a Mario Golf game on them. The Switch, however, is just the perfect console to bring this classic game back and I am going to go all in for it.

The Ninja Gaiden Collection is another noteworthy game from this ND, as well as Splatoon 3 (though that one was announced too early for me to really be invested). I’m also intrigued by the new No More Heroes 3. Did I mention Mario Golf?

Okay. If I’m being completely honest, it wasn’t the most exciting ND. I genuinely feel bad for the new Smash character. The Pyra/Mythra intro video was like the polar opposite of the Sephiroth video. It was just like, “Oh hey, this Xenoblade character is coming to Smash.” Yawn. Even Steve had a better intro video. Now I get that they were probably trying to play it off as some kind of new Xenoblade announcement, but if that’s what they were going for it fell completely flat in my opinion.

Anyways, I really am excited for some of the things announced and we haven’t even reached the end of the Mario celebration yet so I’m sure there is plenty more to be excited about for 2021 as far as Nintendo is concerned. It is only February after all.

A rare glitch in Resident Evil 2

I was about to finish my run of Leon A, when a strange glitch occured during the last boss fight of the game. The monster was on a higher level than Leon, doing his routine attack pattern, jumping from square to square until it lands on the ground and then jumps up again, and so on. Suddenly it pulled my character up to the air and grabbed him, as if it would normally do, except that the monster only does this attack when being on the same level as the character, meaning on the ground, since Leon (or Claire) can’t jump, or fly. Then Leon stayed on that invisible higher level and he couldn’t drop down. However he could still shoot and hurt the monster with the magnum, but colission detection and Hit box were all messed up. Somehow I survived and was I able to finish the game normally after that. Fortunatey I was recording this (I might upload it later) because I was doing a speedrun of the game. I can’t help but think: What else can go wrong in the game and ruin everything when I’m doing doing well in a run? 😉

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Gaming Journal 2/15/2021

The end of last year really had me excited for gaming. Graduating meant more gaming time. While the games looming on the horizon of 2021 were fun to think about, it was finally getting through some of my backlog that had me the most excited. I managed to finish Crash 4 and Immortals, but the one game that I had left alone for too long was Ori and the Will of the Wisps.

Ori is the kind of game that is just fun to play. Sure there are some challenging platforming sections, some I would even call cheap and unfair, but the majority of the game is full of wondrous environments that are just fun to explore. While all the typical habitats are represented, such as dessert, forest, tundra, etc…, their design is so well done you will find yourself just enjoying the views on many occasions. I think my personal favorite scene depicts a giant water wheel surrounded by the forest and bright blue water. The wheel itself looks just as natural as the environment that surrounds it. It is just a really pleasant view to me.

When it comes to weaving a story together, Ori manages to create deep emotion from scenes and actions rather than dialogue. Sure the narrator and some of the NPC’s occasionally chime in to add lore to the mysterious world, but the moments of the game that will evoke real emotion from the player comes entirely from speechless cutscenes. Of course the music also plays its part.

If you played Ori and the Blind Forest you will come into this game with some idea of what to expect from the world and its environments, but the gameplay is upgraded quite a bit. The combat in particular is just such a huge step up. No longer are you spamming your little light orb to do the fighting for you. Ori has to actually get into the combat. You are equipped with a sword, a hammer, a bow, and even some cool new spells. If ever there was something I felt was missing from the Blind Forest, it was entertaining combat. It also manages to stay engaging from beginning to end because of course you don’t just start out with all these cool weapons and spells, you have to find them. The steady progression of the game is very well balanced and the combat thrives thanks to this. Now if we do happen to see a third game I think my only remaining gripe would have to be a lack of diverse enemy types, but for a game that is more about the adventure and less about being a total badass I can give this a pass (make no mistake, Ori is still a total badass).

Another welcome addition is the hub area along with plenty of side quests. The main story is not just about Ori. It is also about the down-trodden creatures who are trying to survive through the blight on their land. They have clearly seen better days. Ori is tasked with helping rebuild their broken homes and even just bringing simple joys to their lives like giving a hot meal to a cold adventurer. Aiding these creatures does not go unrewarded either. Typically you will be given experience points to spend or receive an upgrade to your health or magic capacity. Oh and one incredible new addition is the addition of FAST TRAVEL FROM ANYWHERE. Yeah, it’s kind of a big deal. I hate feeling like I am wasting time in a game running from point A to point B dozens of times per playthrough when I could have just teleported there and carried on with my business.

Anyways, I can’t recommend this game enough for lovers of platformers. It is a wonderfully crafted world and it deserves all the praise it gets. I played this one on the Switch and while Joy-Cons are not the most comfortable way to play I would still highly recommend this one because it is a great game whether you prefer to play on the big screen or on the go. If you’ve played it yourself I’d like to hear your thoughts!

A not so serious company

A retailer, friend of mine shared with me and his friends the following thought: We know that some customers that have ordered and paid for their PlayStation 5 console since last November still haven’t received it due to the pandemic, and it might even take many more months until they get it. At the same time, Sony has gifted the PS5 on Day 1 to some big streaming channels on the Internet. I can’t imagine how angry I would be towards this company if I knew that their priority was to give for free the console to their “friends”, and not give it first to those who paid for it! If there are enough units for both streamers/YouTubers and customers, then there is no problem, but if you have a very limited stock and you choose your friends over your customers, then you deserve to have no customers.

Gaming Journal 2/11/2021

As someone who has been lucky enough to have had a PS5 since launch day I feel it is finally time to talk about it. First of all, I am very happy with the hardware overall and the simple fact that I could replace my PS4 completely made it even better (though my God of War edition Pro is sorely missed). From day one the only real pull factor for me was Demon’s Souls. I find the shortage of the PS5 a bit baffling considering there was almost nothing on it at launch that was not readily available on other platforms, but for me, playing Demon’s Souls with online functionality again was a huge win and I have enjoyed it immensely.

Before I get into the game itself, the way the PS5 runs it as well as how simple it was to set up everything and convert from old to new was simply a breeze. Did it have it’s quirks? Of course it did…namely as someone who lives between two houses a fair amount it is painfully annoying that I cannot press the options button on a game and upload and download system saves and cloud saves. Instead I have to go to the system settings and maneuver from there…every…single…time. Of course the extra time it takes to make sure my save files remain up to date across my systems is a small price to pay when it is counterbalanced by the awesome speed of the PS5. The load screens in Demon’s Souls, if they are even worth calling them that, is literally a wall of fog that pops as you are transported between the Nexus and one of the 5 arch stones. It maybe takes 3-5 seconds to get anywhere in the game. I remember playing the original for PS3 and the load screens took a considerable amount of time, though there were of course helpful hints in those load screens but I think we all would prefer the speed as opposed to a tidbit of lore that you can get from item descriptions and NPC’s.

As for the game itself, it is gorgeous. The game simply looks awe inspiring. Everything from spell casting to backstabbing has been made to look better and they did such an impressive job with it. I felt the same way about Bluepoint’s Shadow of the Colossus remake. Even my favorite weapon, the Large Sword of Moonlight, was given particle effects that make it look almost alive as you wield it. I love the original game and they did it justice with the remake.

Unfortunately I wanted to go all in on trophies for the remake and I ended up making a character build that catered a bit to much towards those ends. It was fine at first because a spellcaster is fairly broken in Demon’s Souls, but when I realized that I also wanted to wield the Moonlight sword and I had to also acquire all the Miracles in the game I began to split my points across too many categories and it ended up costing my character stats more than I realized. By end game I simply was not doing the damage output I wanted and I had messed up with a few things making them unobtainable. So now I begin anew as my next playthrough will focus entirely on Faith and hopefully I will find the patience to go back to my spellcaster and get the remaining pieces I still need for that playthrough as well…Moving on.

The bosses and enemies largely went untouched with their overall patterns in the remake, but they look so damn good it feels like the fights are new again. One of the things that I liked a lot, but also found to be terrifying until I got used to it, was when your character is hit by an enemy attack imbued with fire or magic you look like you are covered in it. Fire in particular sent me into a panic as it looks like my character is taking damage over time. In too many other games when a player character is lit on fire they continue to take damage until they jump in water or roll enough times. Demon’s Souls made me feel like I was taking damage just because it made my character glow with spots of fire all over my body…writing this I feel even more justified now than I did when I realized it was just an effect and I wasn’t actually taking continuous damage.

I can’t thank Bluepoint enough for this game. I am a huge Souls fan and want nothing more than to see as many people get the opportunity to try the game that originally got me hooked. I also cannot wait to see what the PS5 has in store for us all going forward. That’s all for now folks.

Update: 2/8/2021

Whelp this feels long overdue, and while I am aware that apologies are an unnecessary part of this site it still feels owed. Sorry for being silent and most of all sorry to FUSE and myself for not writing.

I needn’t tell anyone how busy life can be or how draining, but after graduating in December (finally!) I have been on the job hunt and for someone who has not really been job hunting for the last 15 years or so it has been a daunting task to try and learn how it is done in an entirely online setting. Even if you manage to get an interview, thanks to Covid it’s not like it is guaranteed to happen in person. Everything is digital. It is a bit jarring to get used to.

As far as FUSE goes, I have been a bit of a ghost. I have seen the tags (thanks cid) for things and I have been keeping up with posts occasionally (I laughed harder than I think anyone rightfully should at Hasslevania) I simply have not been motivated. Not just with this site, but with many things. School ended and suddenly I am moving on to applications and a job hunt. I have been doing a lot of the same routine between working full time and school over the past five years that now that change is imminent I feel like I am drifting a bit without a paddle. I am excited to move forward, but there are simply infinite directions to move in and oddly enough that makes me feel like I have no direction at all. Anyways, it will all fall into place as it should and things will be better soon! Right? RIGHT!

Just a quick update gaming wise. I have been enjoying a good bit of gaming in my spare time and I look forward to getting back to my gaming journal to discuss some of the amazing games of the past few months for me. Those posts will include: Astros Playroom, Demon’s Souls, Immortals Fenyx Rising, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, and recently I began playing Spider-man remastered. There are probably a few others worth talking about that slip my mind at the moment, but I miss writing and I miss this space so hopefully I will be around a bit more.

Thanks for being a reliable place to come back to!


Hey, guys. Sorry for my silence. I’ve kinda been through a lot lately. Nothing too serious, just some mental shit. I know we’re not suppose to post all the time and all, but I feel like I still need to apologize. I’m deeply sorry for the lack of content I’ve been demonstrating and I will admit I’ve been lazy with the occasional free-write I do. I’ve just been very dry and it’s been hard trying to write anything since I’ve taken a small break to talk with friends, especially since my boyfriend came to my life. I’ve been just prioritizing my own life lately and have been trying to think up some future plans. I won’t get too specific, just know it’s future shit that I need to talk seriously.

With that said, I just want to say that I want to connect to you guys more. So in turn I will put my twitter here as well as my Discord. And before you go tell me that Discord ain’t that great, I fucking know, Mata. Nothing too great, just Discord’s the best we got and I hate Skype as well as Team Speak. You don’t have to do anything with it but know I’m giving you the choice. Here’s my Discord (StarterPack#0367) and my Twitter ( Please, I’d like to get to know you guys more.  As for you, Cid: I need to talk to you more.

As for other news, I will try to write something about my new favorite game, Apex Legends. I do plan on using footage and I’m trying my best learning my computer to record it and since it’s an old toaster that I desperately need to upgrade, it’s kinda slow. Just expect an Apex piece! Anyways, I need to go and sleep. Goodnight and hope I get to see you guys more. Love you all, seriously!



She’s dubbed the all-knowing and the unknowing. She’s the reason I’m still here. Too much makes no sense. All logic has befell me. She’s made me love her, hate her, she’s made me feel all kinds of things to me. Nothing has made sense. I don’t trust myself as nothing I think or speak could be real. She could have forged my words, but who knows? She could’ve made me feel this way, a ruse to my own mental insanity. I’m a toy to her own, a plaything for her to enjoy. I can’t do anything to help it, I must do what she says or she’ll make my reality upside down for me. I’ll cry again and she’ll just watch. Her eyes, they break through me. I can’t look at her. Her eyes aren’t there. I must cope and listen to her, there is nothing I can do. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing I can do. 

Killer’s Anonymous: Knock Knock

Jeremy Charles Dennetts, a former mailman that lived in an old town in rural Texas called Tannersville, lived a lonely life with his dog, trying to make a living on his creative writings. He constantly waited for a response on his samples he sent to many studios and publishing companies. None have caught on, so he figured he might as well do it in person. He read somewhere that a publisher was going to the city congressional speech in three days, so he ran to the closest motel near the townhall and waited for the day to come. When it finally did, he waited patiently for him, oddly standing near the seats pointed at the mayor. Security told him to sit, but he stood there. People offered him seats he was near, but he always refused a stern but polite manner. He saw the only man in a suit walk by and ran to him, asking him his name. Spencer was his name, and it was the Spencer Platts he was waiting for. 

He gave him the sample and letter of consideration and hoped he enjoyed. He stormed back home and waited. And Waited. And waited until it was long overdue to get a proper response. In this, he tracked Spencer down and found him nearby the town, and all he left was a torn down door, broken glass and furniture, and a bloodied pulp that once was Spencer Platts’ face. Witnesses knew Jeremy, so the police tracked him down to his home and found nothing but the furniture. They enclosed his family for any sanctuary he may take, but he hardly any kin in the state, let alone near the country. 

Jeremy Dennetts is a 6’8, 43-year-old man of Polish descent. His medical records show he has Psychopathic/Sociopathic tendencies that have given him problems in the past, as well as a case of slight gigantism, giving him abnormal strength, reaching puberty at the age of 9. At the age of 13, his mother found him strangling all the chickens for “Not giving kisses like his mamma told him they would,” and continued to beat his mother until she was unconscious. His mother, being afraid, gladly dropped the child in Shawn’s Gate Mental Institution, which was notorious for having irresponsible staff that tortured their patients. This caused Jeremy to develop a lack of emotion in his inflection but didn’t irradicate it. He founded a passion of writing, putting together poems and stories that amazed most who had the chance to read, considering it heartfelt and abstract. His art would be ignored by the masses, but those he knew called him a modern Shakespeare. 

At the age of 25, he left the institution and was given a government Job of a Mailman. This would result in a strange obsession of knowing people too well. He caused many people to move out of the house next door of him to the point that the lot the house was on was deemed condemned. His writings wouldn’t be read until the crime scene was found on June 12th of 1998. Artsy fellows have deemed his work as expressive and a show of a broken mind waiting to be heard, while others compared him to Marilyn Manson. His work has inspired other writers in a strange way, although creating controversy, he is beloved by many dedicated to the art of literature. 

There have been deaths that seem similar to Spencer’s, but none have been linked to Jeremy in any way, although he is a suspect. They’ve deemed the killer behind these deaths as Knock Knock, a sick joke made by the detectives and police due to the manner of entry and how aggressively killed the victim was. Some believe the theory it’s Jeremy being found accidentally by these people, aggressively killing people so he can never be caught. But no one knows, and no one will. He leaves no witnesses.