Regarding 2020

Regarding 2020

I think what we learned about the human heart and spirit is important. We saw the human condition ripped apart of its seams. So much of what we took for granted we now were forced to live without.

There was a loss of community-and of being part of one.

It taught us what we could live with. What we had to live without and what we did not need. It reassigned our priorities and our convictions.

Some goodbyes were last goodbyes.

It showed that in Paris, Prague, London. New York, and LA, that on a clear day you COULD see forever. If only corporate greed did not make that impossible. We saw nature reclaim what was always hers.

So many could not be there as loved ones passed on. There was no holding of hands or hearing a last gasp. There were phone calls from remote locations. There was no viewing of the body–the 2020 plague allowed for no closure for so many. Bodies could not be buried for that would release this when so many efforts were being used to contain it.

Maybe we learned that we should say what we never did before instead of keeping our feelings quiet. To celebrate life and put issues aside. Apologize instead of letting old feelings stew.

I think we learned to say “I love You” far more often than before because tomorrow offers no guarantees and the plague was indiscriminate. Does one truly know the depths of sadness and sorrow another may feel and how those 3 words may change that persons psyche and being?

We learned that despair can lead to grief and depression rather quickly. The 2020 Plague was-and remains a major trauma.

We watched Doctors, nurses and care giving staff try to fight–try to contain something they did not understand and were ill equipped to handle. We prayed for them. Many have died because they did what they were trained to.

We learned there are “essential” workers and “disposable” workers. Even in the highest levels of a hierarchy. People become discardable commodities–or were they always seen as that by corporations and employers?

We were told we had to live as an island, isolated, quarantined and remote. We were told that after a life of being told otherwise. That people need people. Was it not John Donne that penned “No Man is an Island” in 1624? And while Paul Simon may have tried to rebuke that saying “he was a rock/he was an island-“and an island never cries” I found the collective human experience crying more than I ever thought it would last year.

Please remember that even in Despair, Hope can be found.

Maybe 2021 is a year for hope?

–Big Cid (C) 2020 Posted by author for personal use. May not be reproduced or published without consent of Alexis Zinovenko.

Hollow Knight: Accepting Defeat

I began my second play through of Hollow Knight awhile back, first play through on PlayStation, and it was amazing to me how much I enjoyed it a second time. Typically for a game to have replay value for me it has to have different ways to play. I love the Souls games because every time I start a new character I can play a totally different way than the last time I played. I can go magic, faith, dex, and strength, and numerous weapons for each of those. Hollow Knight, however, gives me a nail (sword), 4 spells, and periodic movement upgrades.

Now, I’m sure plenty of people will be shouting, “What about the charms?!?” Yes there are charms in the game, but they are not something that you have to choose to stick with per play through. They can drastically change your play style, but many of them are situational and for the most part I find myself using the same handful throughout. Something I never did no my first play through was gather all the charms, but my second play through had me working for some trophies and I am happy to say I have acquired them all.

So here I am with 4 trophies left to acquire, 5 if you count the platinum separately, but I have hit a wall and I am preparing to accept defeat. I didn’t realize how much content I had missed when I originally played the game on Switch. Say what you will about trophies, but they at least kept me engaged with the game long enough to really pursue it in far more depth than I had originally. I had unlocked the Grimm Troupe on Switch, but never managed to defeat Nightmare Grimm. I was also missing maybe 6 charms on Switch. The thing that really makes me upset though is that I never unlocked Godhome. I knew I had bosses and things I had never played against, but I didn’t really look into it on Switch because I wanted to find everything organically. Well that never happened and I stopped around 97% completion on Switch. Even thought the game can go to at least 112% completion, I thought I had done fairly well.

The trophies I still have left? Nightmare’s End, Soul and Shade, Embrace the Void, and Pure Completion. I know I can obtain 3 of those, but Embrace the Void? I simply do not have it in me to achieve this after looking up what it entails. As I said, Godhome is something I never unlocked before and it is simply a place that offers two things. First, you can replay any boss in the game that you have encountered. This is an awesome feature and one I wish any game would allow you to do. Second, there are boss rush trials where you fight 10 bosses in a row with a bench after every 5. There are 4 of these challenges and I am on the fourth one, and finishing them will grant me the Soul and Shade trophy. Once you finish the 4 of them, however, you unlock the fifth and final challenge which is to do every boss in the game PLUS a special final boss that looks insane. I can do the 4 of them, and I will finish the fourth after some more practice, but that last one is simply not something I have the skill or patience to achieve and it makes me sad.

I have learned that the 112% completion can be obtained by finishing the fourth pantheon challenge as well and getting rid of the Grimm Troupe and achieving the Nightmare’s End trophy, but that just means that I will have one glaring trophy left mocking me. This is the downside of trophies. Should you look up the Hollow Knight trophy difficulty you will find it has a 10/10 according to That difficulty is given simply because of the Embrace the Void trophy. After looking up a speed-run video of the final boss rush mode, not only did I feel like an absolute scrub, but I realized that I simply will not be getting this platinum. I will be close, and I will feel damn accomplished for it, but alas I will not achieve greatness.

While I have accepted my defeat in this matter, the fact remains that Hollow Knight is an exceptional game. I await Silksong with great anticipation and I know that I will play the hell out of it as well.

Thanks for the read, and I would be interested to know if there are any trophies or games you regret not being able to acquire!

The Reviews for Saturday Night Oldies with Big Cid are in–and they are Phenomenal!

before I begin know that I am referring to the recent post of Ricky Nelson Music found here-

I seldom brag about my show; my posts but I truly love this show and so do many others. Today. Tuesday saw the most activity for it since the day it was released. That is because word of mouth about this is getting around. I see 3 here-and a guest have liked it. I’m not sure if any listened to it as it was meant to be listened to of the Fusers were have- many others have though.

I’m also not sure if any pending comment on the program are waiting for approval. but that is fine if they were declined.

To sum up my feelings on it I posted this on FB today regarding the show ( I have a private account!)

“I no longer share of myself here. I no longer post my poetry or my prose for a fb audience. Some general thoughts get put out as a lead in to a story by a news agency but that is as far as it goes.I

find it devastating and disheartening. The blood, tears and sweat I put into a poem or a prose writing is wasted posting it here where 14 out of 155 friends see it. A failure of technology far as I’m concerned. I write FOR others and others-at least here- never see it or never appreciate it. Fb is brutal for artists. Twitter and IG by nature can be boon for an artist no matter how they are an artist.

So it is with deep regret and hesitation that I share my “Saturday Night Oldies with Bid Cid” here.

I’m sharing it because in 10 years of doing these on different networks I’ve never been so personal in a broadcast. Never. I am to entertain- or present music that entertains and not speak of myself and of tears I sometimes endure.

But I can’t—….I can’t…I love Ricky Nelson far too much to do a disservice to him, his memory and his music. I can’t be as a moderator when it affects me so deeply. I have to write of my heart and let the blood flow where ever it will.

For new listeners one is to read me, listen and continue to do so. This is not a “pick and choose to hear my faves only”. After that is done if it is liked make a playlist of it. (Although you will be missing my excellent dialogue-which I write myself each week!!! Think on that. Impromtu script writing weekly!) So one has to bear with as this is like a radio post but in text and videos.

Those that take the time to listen to Ricky and to read of me , Thank You. Thanks to the 18 that saw this and the ones tagged that I thought may care but may have missed this. It’s rough;y 40 minutes long.

–Cid out”

I think that speaks the truth of me as best as i can relate it. However I’m sharing some compliments that this show got from twitter, email, Similar Worlds and fb itself. While many here may not appreciate Ricky he is widely loved and this homage to his music is just phenomenal.

I listened to the entire show 8 times. I never do that. And I read myself each time as i did-each time finding something new to move me in some way, I sat as each song played in it;s entirely and when it ended–I cried with the exact same words I wrote. Words that should not move me.

The reviews—

“This is pretty cool.” —twitter

“Thanks for showing me this.”–twitter

“Oh, that’s a poignant ending.“–twitter

“I read the entire thing, and have it bookmarked on my InterWebz Searcher Device to go back to it.”–twitter

Thanks for the link, I’ll check it out. Hope all is well in your world. Always liked Ricky Nelson.


 · F
Great job!🎶🕺 I never realized he died on New Year’s eve.😔 He was only 45…so sad! Wonder where he would be today? I really like the one he did by Hank Williams.🕺💓 I would have left a comment there, but I’m not ready to take on another website at this point. Take care of yourself….I need to get over your way and check out some of your stories.⭐ HUGS—From Similar Worlds

“Ricky Nelson!  Who knew? Enjoyed reading this thanks!–from email….

There are more but you get the idea. People loved this a lot as many feel as I do in many ways. It may not have been the hit I expected on fuse or even WP but it was one outside of the network.

I replied to one that loved it —“Seldom, in 10 years of doing these have I ever got so personal. This was more of a love letter to the audience and myself than a homage to Ricky.”

Seldom, in 64 years have I been able to continually move myself so much in what I wrote and how I wrote it.

—Cid Out

Returnal Impressions: Getting Over Death

Returnal does a good job of instilling fear in you right off the bat and I wish it hadn’t. You load into the game, you are told that there is no save system for being in the middle of a run unless you put your system in standby mode (and don’t open ANY other apps), and then you crash your ship and are left on your own. I made my way into the great unknown and came upon a room with the first real enemy of the game and it is a beast. It rushes you mercilessly and I died quite handily. This is by design as the title screen comes up afterwards and you are then sent back to the beginning. From that point on, I was terrified to die.

As I began my first real test in the game, I made slow progress. I came across the enemy type who killed me at the start and repaid it in kind. I thoroughly tested the level and paid the price by not having any clue as to what some things were. Fun fact, no you cannot jump into the water even though there are items in it. Luckily, falling is not an instant death, but you do take damage. As I continued to make my way, the map got larger, my weapons improved, and I got some nifty upgrades. I even entered the strange house and got some creepy P.T. vibes. Then it happened. I had to leave my system. I was worried for a lot of reasons. What if my system cut off? What if power went out? What if, what if, what if? When I came back later, my system cut on and I was able to continue on, but the fear of death was still there.

Continuing on, I finally came upon what I assumed was a point of no return position. I was in a room with a huge drop-off, but it was clearly inviting me to take the plunge. I obliged of course and thus began the first boss fight in the game. It was a tough battle for me honestly. I struggled a bit to dodge the enemy’s dash attack. It was like I always tried to dash away too early and took a hefty hit because of it. The boss has three health bars and I got the third bar about halfway down before meeting my demise…or so I thought. I had managed to pick up an artifact that gave me a revive upon death. This was unknown to me and I had even looked away from the screen before realizing I was resurrected. Thankfully that gave me just enough to take down the boss.

I was relieved, but there was still the problem that I had yet to really die. Killing the first boss grants you an item to access the next area of the game. As I proceeded I continued at a slow pace. I made a decent amount of progress through the second area and then it finally happened. I came across a hell of a new enemy type and I simply was not prepared. Death. Frustration. Sadness. Ship crashing.

Come to find out, you respawn with more than I realized. You keep anything you get from killing a boss as well as a few other items you come across. In addition to that, the game is designed to get you to where you were in a very clever way. I kept the key to the second area and all I had to do was find the portal to get there. I have also killed the second boss now, and the item you obtain from it allows you quick access to the third area from the first and I would imagine the game continues in such a way after killing each boss. I WISH I HAD KNOWN! I was so terrified about dying that I don’t think I experienced the game as mush as I should have from the start. Not only is killing a boss a major achievement, but it is kind of like it’s own version of a save point. On top of that, when you die and go immediately to a new area, you are given a weapons upgrade item right off the bat to get you up to speed for being back in a more difficult area.

Returnal is a difficult game. It is nerve wracking and brutal, but incredibly rewarding. If I were to give advice to anyone playing the game for the first time, it would have to be don’t worry about death. It is simply a part of the game. Now if you play and are simply unable to get to the boss or kill a boss, then I would recommend you play it safe as much as possible and prepare through exploration. I even looked up a video on how to take down the second boss when I made it there. It is a lot of fun and I would absolutely recommend the game to anyone who enjoys a challenge, even if the roguelike elements are not your typical cup of tea. Now I just need to finish before Ratchet and Clank!

Saturday Night Oldies with Big Cid-Ricky Nelson on Imperial; a Retrospective of a Legend.

Hello all,

On Thursday last Bob and I were sitting in the studio after shifts and I said that “We need to get back to Saturday Night Oldies” and “that we need to pick themes for some upcoming shows”. I was leaning towards doing some “Spring” orientated shows featuring music that became hits in the Springtime but that was as far as I got in that line of thinking.

“Alexis”, he looks at me sternly, clearly his recovery from COVID has not slowed those piercing eyes down a bit, “do the show that you LOVE more than any other. The one you LIVE TO DO!”

“And that is?” I knew what he would say but it was always nice to hear him say it.

“Just do the “Ricky Nelson on Imperial ” show. You’ve done it 4 times before on open and closed networks and each time those that listened to it loved it. You know you want to” Well he was right. I have been wanting to do that.

“Yes but those audiences were older and appreciated it more. I’m not so sure this would go over well here although I think some may dig it” Ok..It was decided. This I could do on my own-in my sleep if need be.

Now to preface this long ago artists were defined by their labels or the labels they recorded for. Sinatra recorded for Columbia records, RCA, Capitol and Reprise (a company he founded) And on each label he was decidedly different in tone and message. Johnny Cash recorded for Sun and Columbia. Bob Dylan has only recorded for Columbia.(however it was not Columbia that defined Dylan but rather the personal at the studio at different time periods) The Stones would record for Abcko and then Rolling Stones Records. They also had two distinct sounds per label.

As did Ricky Nelson. Ricky had one hit before signing with Imperial , a great company of the 50’s and early 60 that also featured Fats Domino, Sandy Nelson ( no relation) and Slim Whitman. When Ricky turned 21 he saw himself claiming his independence and he changed his name to “Rick”. A small change but it meant so much. He would fulfill his contract out with Imperial. In youthful stupidness he signed a 30 year contract with Decca where he faltered badly after the first three LP’s. What could go wrong? A lot. On Imperial EVERYTHING went RIGHT!

This is a look back at those years and namely those when he was “Ricky”.

We start off tonight with one that is personal to me for I am that fool-still, 50 years later. I never changed. This is one of my theme songs. This is from Ricky’s first LP for Imperial. The last song, side two.

It’s in the last two songs that we see that one of Ricky’s strong point’s was Rockabilly. Some see him as an Elvis copy. I see him far more talented than Elvis as this is a talent that came natural to Ricky where with Elvis it was forced and packaged. Ricky was better than him in sheer talent. He also had looks Elvis would kill for. (Those eyes! Those Lips!)

I own this LP. It was given to me long ago by the one aunt that truly cared for me.

This next song was written by old Hank. Hank Williams, Sr. It has always evoked a strong emotion in me-even since I was a teen. If I let–at times I can easily cry with this. Grab a tissue and a Coke and listen children.

A bit more rock than Rockabilly. I love the transformation. Leaving this LP-for now I’m present a song I was singing, by memory, since I was 2 .Yes 2. I could not ask for a drink of water BUT I could sing any Ricky song-by heart- upon hearing it. I was called “Little Ricky” by many.

It’s also the first song I learned on a guitar.

Here we see he that is no longer a “Poor Little Fool” . Or is he?

There were a number of singles that Ricky released that never appeared on an Lp until years later in compilations. This was not the practice for that time but the decision of what to put on an Lp-and what to keep off was tantamount in those days. I own this original 45 . It was not on “Rick is 21” at the time.

We now go to Ricky, his guitar and his tear jerking elegance of “Lonesome Town” as we get close to winding this down.

This is a song I used to perform decades ago when I did perform..

In 1961 Ricky became Rick. The music was more worldly and not of a teen longing for love or fighting heartbreak after heartbreak or of teen loves gone bad. He would record for Imperial until 1963 when he signed with Decca. Sparse singles from Imperial would show up as releases on the label until 1965 but they were of older material.

Here he sings of Traveling and it seem he has no shortage of girls all over the world.

Like most artists of the day Ricky also put out a 6 song EP of Spiritual Music. Elvis, Cash, Orbison, and every other major artist paid some homage to religious and spiritual music. This is one of Ricky’s.

And sadly we come to an end of this-a loving look at Ricky and what he was at Imperial and the songs that will forever live in the hearts of many that loved him. It was a golden age of music, where a rockabilly artist could also sing love ballads one minute and have us feel as if we were at a revival the next. Where a rocker was never afraid to show a soft and vulnerable side. And when sheer, natural talent meant more that just having a pretty face.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is hard for me to end. I don’t want it to(end) but even a presentation has restrictions.

Bob was right. He knew it and so did I. In truth I never get tired of offering up this presentation and those like it with Ricky.

He was 17 years older than me as he was born in 1940. I came out of the womb singing him. I’ve never stopped.

He died on New Year’s Eve 1985. He was 45. Now I’m over 17 years older than him and it breaks my heart.

Ladies, gentleman, thanks for listening. “Young World” ends this with “Sweeter Than You” the fade out…..

Cid out!

Tawny Kitaen

Tawny Kitaen who dated Robbin Crosby of the group RATT and was on the bands 1983 and there 1984 debut studio album and she would go on to marry David Coverdale and appear in several Whitesnake videos including Here I Go Again, Still Of The Night, has passed away at the age of 59 (cause of death is unknown)

Static VS Dynamic: A Tale of Two Gaming Styles

This morning I was in a conversation about Returnal which sparked a pros and cons discussion about rogue style games. My position on the subject? Rogue games are annoying. My buddy on the other hand says they have grown on him recently. Before any actual discussion begins though I think laying out exactly what is being discussed is important and I had to look up how exactly the internet constitutes what makes a game roguelike and roguelite.

Roguelike (the way I understand it) is essentially a game with a full reset. You die, you start over. Everything starts over. Character, stats, even the map. To me this sounds absolutely AWFUL. A roguelite on the other hand simply uses roguelike elements. Maybe your character dies, but some progression still carries over. Maybe if you make enough progress you restart with slightly better gear. It isn’t quite a full reset, but you are still “starting over.” I think one of the few games I enjoyed that described itself as a roguelite was Rogue Legacy. Sure, dying brought me back as a new character with new stats and different abilities, but I retained higher level stats the more I was able to progress. So what are the likes and dislikes to be had here?

I for one hate the idea of not being able to learn a world. Every death means that whatever time I just invested in my last life learning a map is now completely useless. I was a huge Hollow Knight fan on Switch and when I finished the game I was left wanting more and someone recommended Dead Cells to me. I played the game for a bit on a plane ride and it just felt like I was getting nowhere slowly. Not only was I dying a lot (I know…git gud), but every time I did I was given a totally new map. I was not keeping any real progress AND I had no idea where to go again? Now the fact that I was on a plane meant I had no ability to look up to see if there was some kind of light at the end of this constantly changing tunnel so I may have given up a bit too quickly, but it left bad enough of a taste in my mouth that I never went back to try again. Quitter talk I know, but it simply was not for me.

My buddy on the other hand raised a good point with this kind of dynamic setting though. Every play through feels fresh. His argument was once you learn the map you know where to go and what to do and you are no longer exploring. While I view that as more of a reward for already having played the game, he sees it as more of a reason to keep playing. If the map changes then item locations also change. So do enemy spawns. If you want a particular item you have to find it all over again and who knows where it may be? This same looking hallway on my last life led to a new weapon, but this time it may lead to a Mimic! That’s terrifying, but also kind of exciting so I can understand the appeal. Still though, I prefer things to be static.

I have not exactly done a deep dive into Returnal, but on the surface the game looks awesome. The story is about someone who crash lands in a strange place trying to find a distress beacon. She finds out the distress beacon was from herself, or a previous version of herself, and that is about all I really know thus far. Not a bad premise and it may make the Rogue elements of the game make a lot more sense, but that is not what is selling me on the game. The combat looks like some kind of cross between Doom, Mass Effect, and Nier. It looks like the speed and frantic combat of Doom, it has the cool sci-fi weapons you would see in Mass Effect, and the intense bullet hell enemies from Nier. The screen is just littered with colors during combat and I like how intense it looks. The enemies also have a really interesting aesthetic with long tentacles that appear to flow behind them as if they were under water. I just have to try this game…

But what if all that amazing gameplay isn’t enough to pull me in past the Rogue mechanics that the game is going to have? It’s just something I’ll have to find out for myself on April 30th!


Hey, guys. It’s been a good 3 months since I’ve checked this site. Makes me happy to see you guys still posting. Kinda sad too since I haven’t written anything in a while. Started a lot of stuff, but never finished things. But nonetheless, it’s great seeing Fuse is still alive. And Cid is back and I’m happy you are, missed seeing you write. Just don’t much else to say than I’m happy to see this place still alive. Been thinking about GIO a lot and just kinda made me want to write more. I might make some shit, but I can’t really make much promises. Anyways, on to me.

Development with my game is kinda slow since we hit a rough stop on where the plot will go and how it will end up. We’re trying our best to think up as much as we can with how to mess with the player and have you actually care for the characters. It’s kinda hard when you don’t talk in person… And are separated by three states… And have jobs…

Oh yeah, I got a Job. I work at Amazon as a Picker and that’s got me tired for most of the day and just kinda meh about doing much on my PC. My feet hurt like hell since I’ve been just kinda standing there on the OP, just driving to the aisle and getting things…. For 10 hours. I think I grew a small lump on the palm of my foot. Anyways, I like it and it pays well, so I’m fine with it. Got the job so I can raise money to rent a house or apartment to see my boyfriend, so he’s happy and sad about it since we hardly talk now. He says it’s terrible, I think he’s overreacting. Little bitch.

Sorry I haven’t been on for a while. I will try to bring myself to write something. Not gonna push anything out or rushing anything though. I want it to be good. And that Hubby Review might not be coming to soon since my baby is kind of putting off on it and needs to relisten to a certain album.

Anyways, love you guys, keep this great community alive and hope you guys are doing well. Probably see you again soon. I hope so. Anyways, goodnight. I sleep.

#NationalPoetryMonth; Celebrating the Spoken Word Poetry of Sarah Kay, Sabrina Benaim, Kevin Kantor, Reagan Myers and Phil Kaye

I’m a poet. I have been since my teens and I’m in my mid 60’s. I have been published twice in UK publications. At 64 I would not know how to get authorship of a book in the US. Poetry has sustained me on long lonely nights for many decades. It has brought solace introspected with regret and a bittersweet feeling of life’s lessons. My favorite posts are Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Anne Sexton and Audre Lorde.

However it is not written poetry of those authors I wish to celebrate. One can read them at their will and i would like to think many do. What interests me in this remembrance are spoken word poets that exist to heal, nurture, preach their truth, and offer an emotional release for those that may need it.

I have found that writing poetry is cathartic and self cathartic. They exist side by side as one but separate. I find the same in inspired spoken word poetry by one who is comfortable delivering their message. Staceyann Chin is excellent at this as a lesbian woman I truly loved her performance when I saw and met her. If this site appreciated the art of protest I would post her easily.

That honour goes to Sarah Kay and those that came up after her and were inspired one way or another BY her.

I saw her live with Phil Kaye (no relation) two months ago their first virtual stream. It cost $35 for a ticket and it was well worth it.

Enjoy the selections of her and the others I spoke of in the title. Some are quite painful. Others I would offer a CW to as one involves male on make rape. An issue that needs to be spoken about me to make it a normalized topic.

This is one I love to read as much as hear. She performed this when I saw her live.

Be careful-and put some thought-into what you give away.

Switching gears we turn to Sabrina Benain. Both of these are form her excellent “Depression and Other Magic Tricks” The first a light hearted and fun intro and the second is the one more return to again and again.

I think with the chaos the world is in now many can relate to what was just presented.

This is tragic. This makes the whole fb”friends” issue seem unreal. This is a truth poem like the last and it is a hard listen.

I love the casualness of Phil Kaye.

Be-fire I wind this Sarah Kay again i need to present Reagan Myers in one of the most powerful spoken words performances ever. This one-as with other heard here. always brings me to tears. tears are a way of knowing you are ALIVE!

Was that enough of a roller coaster ride of emotion for you ? It was for me.

Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye end this on a much lighter note. But one that speaks such honest truth.

I wrote a poem-‘”Thoughts of Postcards Sent” that was loosely based on this. I told Sarah that and she was pleased.

Now go read some poetry of your own.. Better yet, write some….

The Power of Protest; How Big Blue came to Realize the Stupidity of their Actions.

I loved my NES. It was my life. Or rather it was my leisure life. I purchased it when my daughter was four hoping she would also love it. She did. She is so much “my girl”. The Dragon Warrior games on it were some of the best memories we shared. When the SNES came out it was hard to go back to the NES but I loved it when I did. The SNES was diversity heaven.

When the PS1 and 2 came out I didn’t care. I got one for my daughter and she bought the other herself. They were hers. They were in “her room”. I was not welcome. Oh I was welcome to watch but just stay quiet. My feelings of those years, those systems are not good.

So when the news was released two weeks ago that Big Blue would cease selling games on the PSP, PS3 and PS Vita store, I like many other were outraged and took our protests directly to Jim Ryan, the failed leader of SCEA at this time. We spammed Sony sites. Twitter was not kind to them. Others took to more specialized forums.

I, having worked for SONY for 5 years took my case directly to the office of Jim! I HAD a SONY email address.

Others showed their support by purchasing games ON those systems. Games they had long meant to get but never-did/could.

There was a silent thunder in protest that shook the Blue giant and today the plans to shut down those stores (except the PSP store) were reversed. And who should lose face by writing this? None other than Jim Ryan himself. In a half -hearted apology and weak explanation of what gamers already knew he tried to justify the original decision of this. It was cringe-worthy! It was fake-it seemed false-but in the end the gamer was heard.

This should not be news. Sony, so many times in the past has shown they do not care about the whims and wishes of gamers and their passions. They would steamroll over gamers demands with no recompense. I know- I saw it first hand in my office at SONY.

Below is the notice as it appeared this AM.

Now if only SONY would put out a firmware patch to make the lack luster PS5 backward comparable to the beginning.

The beginning when the PS was my daughter’s and I could only watch in silence.


What if They Made A Console and No One Cared; inside the lonely life of a reluctant PS3 gamer.

I rather detest writing this. Really do. My goal was to write one editorial per week with the hopes to entertain, educate and inform. That was accomplished earlier in the week with a post that spoke of neglected gods, news that never get reported and more. Yet here I am when I should be catching up on the multitude of books I have waiting for me.

If you had read my last column I spoke of the changes soon coming to the PS3, PSP and PS Vita store. I see this as stupidity on SONY’s part. If you missed it I spoke of Jim Ryan and SCEA, (the division that oversees SEL) and how SONY is shutting sown the PS3 and PSP store. The expense SONY will save over a year, 5 or even 10 tears is minimal. This is a move that serves no one yet spites many.

I turned on my PS3 this week. The first time in a long time. How long you may ask? Let’s just say I played ( or loaded) SIXTY-FOUR games into my PS4 since I had a trophy on my PS3. That long!!! Skyrim was the last to see a trophy on the console. I was amazed at this number-no–shocked is a better word. How could that be when I loved my PS3??? Imagine the neglect it felt….

I was close to tears as I looked back at the control bar and started to rediscover all I had there. All that I COULD not have on my PS4. Songs by The Killers, (“Here With You” for one.) Nat King Cole, Dion and The Belmonts and Francoise Hardy.. You can’t do that with a PS4. Even “Big Iron” the Marty Robbins classic from Fallout: New Vegas was there.

Then there were the pics. Some sent by friends of my son, other saved over the internet by me. Each having some sort of value. So many I had forgotten about. Next was the shows and movies we had downloaded. Some of them one cannot even rent anymore. The Walking Dead episodes, a Bleach movie and more.

When did functionality leave SONY consoles??

Then came the games, the free ones and the ones we paid for. So many of those I had forgot about as well. I sought out Saints Row The Third as I wanted to get a trophy on my PS3 just to piss my PS4 off. I got two. Besides, I love that game.

Seeing PS LIfe, the virtual study we could take place in was one thing but seeing PS Home- a place I loved as much as any game was hard. It was social media when social media was in it’s infancy. All the cool stuff we bought- to wear or decorate with-gone. MS never had this. MS is not classy enough. Nintendo did do something close but it never caught on. I am referring to the Nintendo World program. on the WiiU.

I played that system for three days. In three days time not a single friend came on to it in my circle! I was the only one online. Of course they could have been playing and remained off line but with all PS players now having to have PS + that seems remote. I did see @nightcrawlerash on for second and then she was gone. She was the only sign of life I saw. I sent her a message. I was never replied to. I was not surprised.

Today, Saturday I went back to the PS4. I wanted to see my PS3 trophies represented. However one had to accept the new system update from SONY. In the old days of Fuse the update did would be posted. I can say that while there are improvements the “Communities” tab and section is gone. I rather liked communities.

What if they made a console and no one cared? Why do more care about a PS1 or PS2 more? Do we shun older technology that quickly? Are gamers that fickle?

I think I prefer consoles best when they had no “friends online” icon.

–Cid, the lonely PS3 gamer

When speaking of the Persona Series in my last column I forgot to mention that May 25th is the release date for the newly HD Remastered version of Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturine for the PS4. The game was originally a PS2 game with a Devil May Cry character in. The below link will give the reader more info.

Lastly, for those that never thought PS Home never meant much to the PS community I leave you with the last few minutes of that wonderful escape–as only PS3 gamers could remember it. You know..the forgotten and invisible ones that were cancelled.

Invincible: Flipping the Script on Expectations

Invincible is a brand new (adult) super hero cartoon exclusive to Amazon Prime. I am not a big comic book nerd, I’m more into anime and manga personally, so I don’t have a lot of comparisons as far as super hero cartoons usually go. I grew up with Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans, TMNT, Static Shock, and a few others, but I definitely never read comic books. I also have seen plenty of movies from both Marvel and DC as well as The CW’s Arrow and Flash shows, but the majority of them are PG-13 and terribly predictable. That being said, Invincible is an absolute blast to watch and if you have as little knowledge of comics as I then it may surprise you as much as it has myself.

I don’t want to go into anything I would consider spoiler territory, so other than what you see in the preview for the show I will try to simply discuss how it stands out without ruining anything. The majority of super hero shows that I am familiar with tend to follow a simple formula. Super Hero A is introduced, maybe given a background story or origin story, they develop their powers, become seemingly amazing, and then they are introduced to a villain who puts them in their place. Ultimately, of course, Super Hero A figures out how to become stronger and they overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds that they are thrown into. It’s a simple formula, and sure there may be a few twists and turns in there on occasion, but it is an all too familiar story and one that Invincible has thrown out the window…mostly.

Invincible is about a kid, Mark Grayson, who’s father is essentially Superman. He is an alien who came to Earth, found love, and had a family. Mark was not immediately gifted with his fathers powers and episode 1 begins with Mark longing to be just like his father. Typical stuff here. There are other heroes of course. The first scene of the show introduces the Guardians who of course must defend the White House and they are basically a Justice League ripoff. I mean there is a guy who runs fast, a powerless guy that uses gadgets, a really strong guy, a really strong girl, a phase shifting girl, a Martian, and of course a fish man…I mean the audacity!

About halfway through the episode, Mark’s powers manifest and he begins to train. He is mostly terrible and it is kind of fun to watch him adjust to his newfound awesomeness. He goes through all the usual training with his father and he even gets fitted with a suit and by the end of the episode he comes up with his super hero name and Invincible was born! Also, at some point in each episode, right before someone is about to say “Invincible,” the title screen pops up and cuts the person off. It is kind of great when it happens and through 5 episodes so far each one does it.

So at this point you may be asking, “So what exactly sets this show apart?” Well you may think episode 1 ends when the title screen pops up at the end, but you would be mistaken. The episode continues on for a few extra minutes and shows you what the show is REALLY about. Now I said no spoilers and I meant it, but when you get to the end of the episode you will simply NOT see it coming. The whole show up to that point feels like all the others I described above. Then it simply smacks your expectations in the face.

The show has a way of making you feel like things are on track to be just some normal, predictable, take no risks super hero cartoon. By the time I feel like I have an idea of motive and how things are going to go down the show flips those expectations and keeps me guessing. Again, we only have 5 episodes so far, and I have absolutely no idea what could happen next because as crazy as episode 1’s ending was, the end of episode 5 also has me feeling some kind of way.

I can’t wait to see which questions are answered throughout season 1, but I am REALLY looking forward to what questions have yet to even arise. If the show can continue to deliver at the level it is now then we are all in for a real treat.

If you have yet to see the show, just at least check out episode 1. If you have seen it let me know your thoughts so far!

Is the News, News if no one cares?; circumventing the cycle of non stories

Have you ever wondered about ancient Goddesses and Gods? How different their time was than the time of today is. I’ve oft wondered if a Goddess or God is STILL THAT if no one believes in them anymore. If they do not do they just fade into nothingness; obscurity and exist only in fables?

Three weeks ago it was the 40th anniversary of Nihon Falcom. That went unreported here. Was Nihon Falcom like the forgotten Goddess who exists only in women’s circle’s around campfires and lore told in dark places? For a developer and publisher to last 40 years, longer than most of you have been walking this earth, is quite impressive-not impressive enough though., When does news stop being newsworthy?

Close 3 weeks ago SONY and the clueless Jim Ryan announced that the PS3 and PSP store will be closing at the end of July. This outraged many as patches will not be available anymore, rendering some games unplayable. As of yesterday I was hearing some patches had already disappeared form the PS3 site. The SONY loyalists here may be aware of this. Or they may not. This site did not cover what I saw as newsworthy.

When does news cease being news? The other two inceptions of fuse would have never let this happen.

And need I remind you that the PS1 classics are only available on the PS3 store and not the PS4 store. A few are thrown in but Paradise Eve and the second title are only PS3. Same for Threads of Fate, Vagrant Hearts, Twisted Metal 2 and so many more. Perhaps those games cease to amaze anymore?

The news today that Perfect World was making a game based on the Persona Series has more angered than are anticipating it. Of course they are using Persona 5 as the model. Have I said how sick and tired I am of Persona 5 and all it’s iterations. It’s not even the best of the Persona’s! If I wanted to be a thief I’d play the classic “Thief” created by Eidos in 2000.

I doubt that bit of news would have made it here. And while Perfect World does design for PC and console Perfect World is ALSO WHERE GAME FRANCHISES GO TO DIE. Much like those Goddesses and Gods of old that only “true believers” as Stan Lee would say would reverie anymore. Maybe I am of another age as I honour in those old Goddesses–and those old games and systems.

A good “for instance” is this. Were you aware there is a Torchlight 3? The first two were excellent having been made my ex Blizzard staff that developed Diablo. In 2012, when Torchlight 2 hit weeks before Diablo 3 there was speculation whether Diablo 3 would be as good. For a while Torchlight 2 was winning that battle. Ex Diablo 2 makers made it. Blizzard has now beat a dead horse to death, having released no new Diablo in now 9 years. However there is a Torchlight 3–a console and Steam game and it is made by Perfect World Entertainment–

–and it sucks.. read the reactions to it on Steam. Perfect World has given us no good reason to anticipate this Persona tie in.

But it is news? I think not At least not for here. While there are stories there are non-stories and fuse has fallen into a state of being a non-story site. Can any remember the “upcoming releases” we used to see for each new month? Or the early info on the free PS+ Games and MS games? News, right? As news exists to INFORM THE READER.

I thought there would be more of an outrage about SONY’s bonehead decision but I was wrong. The PSP and PS3. the Goddess and God of the time have been relegated to nothingness.

Replaying Hollow Knight and My Hopes for Silksong

Recently I began my second run through Hallownest on PS5 thanks to getting Hollow Knight from PS+. I had originally played on Switch and it became an instant classic for me. While I put many hours into the game originally, I actually never finished with the “true” ending so this new play through has me excited for a few reasons. First I get to enjoy receiving Trophies for my efforts, while I doubt I will go for a platinum, it will at least keep me on track a bit better than when I played on Switch. Second, playing with a traditional controller versus Joy-Cons is actually a fairly big difference that I really appreciate. Finally, I am HOPING to be playing the sequel to this game in 2021 (please please please!) and I would like to have a fresh frame of reference for when I get to jump into Silksong.

Replaying this game has made me remember that I have a severe disability when playing games like this…I have a terrible sense for direction. Hollow Knight has a map system and it even shows your location on the map, as long as you have found the cartographer in order to reveal the map and have a charm equipped so you can see your location on the map. Easily the second most annoying thing about this game is the map system. That being said…I also kind of like it. If Silksong does the same thing with some kind of new twist I don’t think I will be too upset.

As I said the map system is only the second most annoying thing, so what is the first? In my opinion I think there are too few Stag stations. I don’t mind having to unlock the Stag stations, but when I have to revisit an area later because I missed something and I end up having to run through half of an entire section of the map just to get something I missed it can be frustrating. It can really take me out of the action if I end up having to run around too much without any real action, especially in a game that makes me use up a precious charm slot just so I don’t get lost.

That is where my gripes with the game end. I love everything else about the game. The enemies in the game are fantastic. The bosses all get progressively more difficult as the game goes on of course, but they also have something that teaches you to play better. I beat a boss today that curls up into a ball and bounces towards you like a homing missile. It was intimidating as hell at first, but eventually I realized that because the boss was lighter than most of the other enemies he bounces back when you strike him. This allows you to hit the boss away from you and strike him again just before he would hit you again. I was pummeled a few times before realizing this. Most of the other bosses also have some kind of exploitable weakness to figure out, some more obvious than others, but once you catch on it not only makes that fight easier, it also teaches you how to approach other foes throughout the game in ways you may not have thought of otherwise.

Silksong has A LOT of things going for it that have me very excited, but also nervous. The combat looks incredible. Hornet is simply a badass character and fighting against her in Hollow Knight again makes me want to play as her even more. She seems far more acrobatic as a character and while I don’t hate how the Knight of the original game moves, Hornet just seems to be more fun! Plus the addition of having silk attached to her weapon should give her more range than anything the Knight had.

I am also looking forward to some new enemy types, not just their aesthetic differences (even though the game design is gorgeous), but I can’t wait to see how the enemies teach me to play the game in ways I wouldn’t have thought of.

We don’t have a release date for Silksong yet…I can’t wait to play…but I believe no matter how long the wait is it will be worth it!

You Get to Choose 1 (part 1)

Well first off, why are even having E3? What is there to gain by having it? An event that outlived it’s time close 5 years ago. This is not 1988 and the world is not abuzz with the newest in Arcades and Pinball. The industry is not invested in hyping the Sega Master System, the NES and other forms of entertainment. PC gaming, while suffering a glut still would make an impact.

I’ll hand it to Sony and Jack Tretton for making the Sony presentations fun. Other, such as Kaz did the same. But is there any reason for it now? Jack and Kaz are long gone. SEL and SCEA lack direction and focus. Nor only that they have pulled, others, realizing that they can better market in other way besides the lame E3.

Even those that linger on have nothing of value to say as they have angered gamers. Does anyone truly care to buy an EA title? At at full price? Or even Activision? Need I remind all how many Activision laid off in a three month span a year and half ago? Are we not still outraged? Oh they had excuses but excuses are not paying bills. We can now include Blizzard, once the benchmark for excellence in gaming, with Activision.

That leaves Ubisoft and that is always a recipe for disaster. If any can claim worst presentation year after year it is Ubisoft. So misaligned are their presentations. It’s 2021, does anyone care about any Tom Clancy game anymore?

That brings us to the above post. Odd as Nintendo bailed out the longest of all companies mentioned. I’m sorry but a video taped presentation is NOT a presentation. Either you care enough to come and see the fans or you do not care at all. Nintendo has proved where they stand. A shame as we often credit Nintendo as one of the companies to restart video gaming after the 1984 crash.

If I were to answer I’d want Kid Icarus. BUT–and this is a must for me—I’d want the 1987 game redone form the ground up WITH THOSE THAT WORKED ON THE 1987 game. Or as many of them that can be rounded up by the industry. Sadly some have passed on. I’d want it as I loved the play mechanics to it and because it became one of the first Nintendo made “cult” hits. Faxanadu also fits that mold as does the Capcom made “Willow”, a game based on the Movie. Remember –these were early cult hits. B.O.B was hardware but predates all of them.

So go ahead–tell me, a old woman that feels 22, why E3 is STILL necessary? I’d like to hear it given what I outlined. Can companies now not find better ways to market? And while you’re at it tell me what game you would like to see remade; revived as the post says, and announced at E3. You only have four choices. Choose well, young grasshopper.